Red

There's something about wearing red underwear that puts me in a better mood. Even if they're just plain old bikini briefs, I have this sort of, 'Oh, yes, if anyone were to be looking at my underwear, they would discover I am a real partier underneath, and also that red is my favorite color.' A few years ago I told mom not to bother getting me undies with crazy designs and stuff, because no one was going to see my exciting panties but me and she told me that that was what made them totally awesome.

I get that now.

(I was very polite the other day, and when my mother told everyone that whether or not I was taking typing classes was open to everyone who was my parents, I very carefully did not point out that my step-father was in no way biologically related to me.)